How to Keep Your Opponent Down When They Get There So You Can Win

In this article we are going to go over how you can take advantage of your opponent throwing their racket, getting down or having a tantrum so you can ride the match out and win.

First!

The first thing to start to consider is how do you usually react when your opponent(s) get upset, yell, scream, hunch over or do anything else indicating that their game is off?

Really think about this for a minute. Do you get tight?  Start to do the same as them? Worry if you can keep it up? Feel sorry for them?

If what you are already doing is not working out so well, then keep reading. And if what you are already doing is working, keep reading too!

The main key to keeping the other player down is that you have to keep playing well and avoid letting them back in the match, which takes avoiding playing badly yourself.

But how do you do that?

One trap that we can fall into when our opponents start to get down is thinking that it is going to be easier for us now and we can relax a little. We can take our level of play down too, have it a little easier and still win. No way!  When your opponent is down, you need to turn up the heat even more to keep them down.

We have already discovered how we react when we notice the other player is down.  I am going to draw a fine line here. What is really going to help you be mentally tough and keep your opponent down is to not react to what they are doing at all, but simply notice it. Notice that they are down so you can turn up the heat and take advantage of them playing badly, but do not get sucked in and have your own reaction.

Don’t feel sorry, don’t be nice, don’t think you have it easy or have any other REACTION possible. This will only give the opponent a window to get back in the match.

Now that you know what not to do and what to avoid, it is time to focus! On what?  On turning up the heat to keep them down.  Here is a mental image that I like- you have finally gotten them to lie down, and it is time for you to pretend you are a sumo wrester-tennis player and sit on them for the rest of the match, and not give them any wiggle room. You don’t give them wiggle room by keeping on playing awesome tennis yourself by focusing on what it takes to win.  What exactly do you focus on?  A game plan, strategy or how you want to be on the court will all get the job done, but the most important thing is avoiding the pitfalls above!

The Mental Toughness to FOCUS on WINNING – Two Types of Thinking

Mental toughness is all about focusing on something that is going to be effective to have you play well and win. But if your mind wanders or a million things pass though your head when competing, then your mental game and results will suffer.

SO, does your mind go crazy when you are competing? Are your thoughts all over the place?  Is there tons of stuff going on in your head?

If so, then that’s perfect because we are going to talk about that in this article!

Two Types of Thinking

The first thing to look at is that there are two types of thoughts and thinking.
The first type is the thinking that happens and the thoughts that come in your head randomly and you cannot control or shut them off. This is the thinking that goes on when you are driving, laying in bed at night or unfortunately, trying to be mentally tough. They also take absolutely no effort and bubble up randomly.
This first type of thinking has nothing to do with being mentally tough or winning. This is also the type of thinking that causes your mind to wander and focus on a thousand different things.  Bottom line: it is bad for your mental game.

Then there is the second type of thinking.  Have you ever done very difficult math, planned a complex event or done any other type of real hard thinking? Remember how this actually hurt a little?  You felt a burn like you feel when you are lifting weights or running sprints, but instead of your biceps, it was your mind. This is exercising your mental toughness muscle and you were feeling it! This second type of thinking requires effort, focus and intentionality. It even hurts a little bit. This is the type of thinking for mental toughness. Bottom line: it is good for your mental game.

Now What?

First, lets categorize the two types of thinking to make is crystal clear. The first type is bad for your mental toughness.  The second type is the type of thinking that it takes to focus and be mentally tough.

So what there is to do is to use the second type of thinking during the course of the competition. Use it to get yourself to focus on what it is going to take to win. It also takes not paying attention to the random thoughts that pass through your head, like what you are going to eat afterwards. Instead, you have to make yourself focus using the second type of thinking. When using your mental toughness muscle, you are unable to get caught up in the random chatter of your mind. You have to be focus and on to yourself the entire time and not let yourself indulge in the random thoughts that corrupt your game.

This is simple, but not easy. It may take practice and building your mental muscle to be able to do this, but in the end, you will have a huge advantage over your opponent and be able to focus on winning the whole time.

Top Five Mental Mistakes Athletes Make, and How to Avoid Them

In this article, we will be exploring some of the most common mental mistakes that I see athletes of all levels in various different sports make. It is not too useful to know what they are, so we are also going to go over how to avoid them. Lets get started so you can grow your mental toughness!

1) Getting Angry and STAYING Angry

Have you ever gotten angry or upset while playing or competing in your sport? Most of us have- it’s common. The mental mistake here is not getting angry, this is something that happens normally and is not really that big of a deal. You can get angry as many times as you want and still be super mentally tough. How? The mental mistake that will drag down your game here is not getting angry, but STAYING angry. Being mentally tough does not consist of avoiding anger and upset, but giving it up quickly once it happens. As long as you can give up before it is time to perform, then you are good to go!
Most of the time we deal with being angry in three ways.
1) Yell, scream, break or throw something in hopes that this will get it out of your system. It won’t, it will only add fuel to the fire.
2) Try and stuff it down and suppress it. This does not work either. You only get “pressurized anger” inside of you, which just makes you more high strung.
3) Keep playing while being angry. Of the three, this may be the best strategy, but still certainly not recommended. It is still likely that you will keep being angry, play worse and tire out more quickly.
So if these three strategies do not work, what do I do? Check out my article on how to give up being angry or upset.

2) Skipping Post Match Analysis

Each game or match is a great learning opportunity, but a lot of times we do not take full advantage of it. The mental mistake here occurs after competing. When we lose, it is common to kick ourselves, second guess, replay parts in our head, sulk, or apply positive thinking. Underneath this, we are blaming ourselves, thinking we did or are bad or wrong in some way. If we win, we go celebrate and bask in our own glory.

Now don’t get me wrong, celebrating is great and you can kick yourself if you want, but each approach to winning or losing that we often take is missing something. We often do not implement the discipline to see each time we compete as an opportunity to expand our mental and physical game. If we lose, a big mental mistake is kicking ourselves instead of looking to see what was missing in our physical or mental game that would have made a difference, which we can do for the next time so that we never lose for that same reason again.

On the other hand, the mental mistake when we win is to completely ignore any lesson to learn. When we win, a great way to solidify and expand your mental and physical game is to look at what was at the root of having us win. This way, it is no mystery why we won, and we know exactly what to do again in the future to win again. Then celebrate!

3) Choking

Have you ever blown a lead? Many athletes have- it is an incredibly common pitfall in sports. And it is an entirely mental mistake. To learn how to avoid choking, check out a previous article specifically on this topic.

4) Having Your Focus on Winning, Losing or Results, Not on what it takes to produce the results.

To get your focus on the process and off the results, check out a previous article about this topic.

5) Negative Visualization

Negative visualization is a mistake that many athletes unknowingly make. It is picturing or visualizing the opposite of what you want to have happen by telling yourself to NOT do something. For example, it is common to say to ourselves, “don’t miss,” “don’t mess up” or “don’t choke.” However, the mind cannot hold a negative thought, so when you tell yourself to not do something, it pictures or visualizes doing it.

A simple example is if I say, “do not think of a school bus.” The image of a big yellow bus probably just entered your mind. Same goes with sports.
Visualization is great, because it makes you mind used to having what you want to happen, happen and in turn more likely. The pitfall here is getting your mind used to and making more likely the things you do not want to have happen through negative visualization.

So what is the fix? Visualize what you DO want!

Now that you know what these mistakes are, go, compete and avoid them!

The Mental Game – Giving up Anger and Upset

Are you ever playing or competing and you get angry or upset?  And you can’t shake it?

If so, read this article because getting angry and upset drags down your performance big time!

As mental toughness has a lot to do with breaking down what gets in the way or the trap that we fall into first, lets deconstruct what happens.

1) We make a mistake or mess up- this is what happens.
2) We get mad at ourselves and play badly afterwards for some amount of time.

The Trap

Underneath or behind us getting angry or upset, there are a number of nasty benefits that keep us in the trap.  Here they are:

The first part of getting angry or upset that lies under the surface and keeps us stuck is we immediately think that we are or just did something wrong or bad (note- this is in our heads, not in the read world, but we collapse the mistake with that we are bad or wrong. The fact is we just made a mistake. That’s it.).  So we start kicking ourselves.

In kicking ourselves, we get ourselves off of the hook from actually facing that we just did something that gets us closer to losing, not winning.

Wait! There is more!

When you are being angry or upset, you are dominating and controlling what is going on around you.  Not in a productive dominating the opponent and kicking butt kind of way, but more like you are having a tantrum and making every one pay attention to you kind of control.  You make everyone look at you, and you even dominate your coach or teammate because when you are angry or upset, they definitely cannot talk to you.  This is another one of the nasty benefits of being angry/upset.

The last and maybe the biggest nasty benefit of getting mad is you get to make a communication to everyone else around, including yourself, that you are better than what you just did.  This gets you to look good for anyone watching.

These are the parts of the trap that get us stuck in being angry and upset.  What is there to do next?

The Solution

First, start to recognize and give up indulging in these nasty benefits when you are getting them. You will know it is time to give them up when you are angry or upset.  It takes  practice to do this. Mental toughness is a muscle, just like any other, so it needs attention and intention to grow it and improve.  Once you give up stewing in being upset, then you are free to focus on you game plan, being a leader, great teammate or kicking butt!